Stepping into the Unknown

At the end of this month, I’m embarking on something that, for years, I told myself I could never do.

I’m flying to the Blue Mountains to attend my first Vipassana meditation retreat—ten days of complete silence, no technology, no distractions, no eye contact, and no external stimulation. Just me, my thoughts, and ten hours of meditation a day.

For those unfamiliar with Vipassana, let me share what this ancient practice is all about—and why I’ve finally decided to take the plunge.

What is vipassana?

Vipassana, meaning “insight” or “clear seeing,” is one of the most ancient meditation techniques, originally taught by Gautama Buddha over 2,500 years ago. Unlike other meditation styles that incorporate mantras, visualization, or breath control, Vipassana is about observing reality exactly as it is.

It’s a deep, disciplined practice that teaches you to witness sensations, emotions, and thoughts without reacting. The retreat is an immersive ten-day experience designed to break old mental conditioning and habitual reactivity. Here’s what that looks like in practice:

• Silence: No talking, no eye contact, no gestures—complete solitude in a shared space.
• Ten hours of meditation per day: Sitting in stillness, scanning the body, and observing sensations without attachment or aversion.
• No distractions: No phones, books, writing, or external stimulation—only the practice.
• Two vegetarian meals per day: Eating mindfully, free from the distractions of conversation or screens.
• 4:30 AM wake-ups: Days start early, with the first meditation session before dawn.

The philosophy behind Vipassana is simple yet profound: suffering arises from our resistance to reality. We cling to pleasure, avoid discomfort, and react impulsively to every sensation, emotion, and thought. Through deep meditation, we learn to sit with it all—without running, numbing, or reacting.

Why now? my Journey to saying yes

For eight years, my partner has attended a Vipassana retreat annually. He treats it as his end-of-year ritual, disappearing into silence and returning with unmistakable clarity, lightness, and a renewed sense of purpose. Every time he’s completed a retreat, he’s told me, “Rikki, you would love this. You should do one.”

And every time, I’ve responded, “Absolutely not. That sounds like my personal hell.”

It wasn’t the silence, the wake-ups, or even the lack of distractions that scared me. It was the sitting still. Ten hours a day of meditation with a back that constantly aches? It felt impossible.

So, for years, I let that stop me. I told myself, I could never do that. And honestly, I believed it.

But then something shifted.

At the end of last year, I went through a downward spiral. Old wounds resurfaced. I felt disconnected from myself, my direction, and my joy. It was uncomfortable, confronting, and humbling.

Then, after spending New Year’s Eve alone on the beach, waking up with the sunrise and just being with myself for a few days, I felt something new—a deep, undeniable knowing that it was time.

No overthinking. No fear. No excuses. Just a full-body yes.

I applied. Got accepted. And now, in just two weeks, I’ll be boarding a plane to step into this experience fully.

Leaning into discomfort & Trusting the timing

What I’ve learned over the years is that growth isn’t about forcing yourself into experiences before you’re ready—it’s about listening for when the timing is right.

I could have signed up for a Vipassana retreat years ago, but I would have been doing it from a place of should rather than readiness. And I know myself—I don’t force my evolution. I let it unfold when the signs align.

And when they do? I don’t ignore them.

That’s what this moment is for me. It’s a reminder that sometimes the very thing we resist is the thing we need the most. And when the resistance drops? When the fear no longer feels like a roadblock? That’s when we know it’s time to leap.

I share this because maybe there’s something in your life that you’ve been telling yourself you could never do. Maybe you’ve written it off as too difficult, too uncomfortable, too confronting.

(So many women say these words to me when I invite them to my Naked Awakening workshops!)

And maybe, just maybe, it’s not a no forever—it’s just a not yet.

But when the timing does feel right? Don’t ignore it.

what’s Next? the uncertainty of who i’ll be after This

I have no idea what I will walk out of this retreat feeling.

Will I come out completely changed? Will I gain clarity on my next steps? Will it be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done? Will it be the most rewarding?

I have no clue. And that’s what excites me.

I have purposefully left my schedule open after the retreat because I don’t know how this experience will shift me. Maybe everything in my life will feel the same. Maybe I’ll come out with a completely new trajectory. I don’t know. But I’m open.

And I think that’s the greatest gift we can give ourselves—to walk into the unknown with curiosity instead of fear.

An Invitation for You

I don’t share this story to convince you to sign up for a ten-day silent retreat (unless that’s your calling, in which case, DO IT!).

I share this to remind you:

• If you’ve been feeling called to something that feels uncomfortable but right—trust that pull.
• If you’ve been resisting something out of fear, ask yourself if it’s truly a no or just a not yet.
• If you’ve been stuck in the belief that you could never—know that there might come a day when your body says, actually, we’re ready now.

Discomfort isn’t always a sign to run. Sometimes, it’s a sign to lean in.

I’ll be sharing more about this experience when I return in March, but until then, I’d love to hear from you—has there ever been something you once resisted, only to later realise it was exactly what you needed? LET ME KNOW 🙂

With love, curiosity, and a whole lot of surrender,
Rikki

A new year doesn’t always Mean a fresh start

Everywhere you look, the world is buzzing with “New Year, New Me!” energy—goal setting, vision boards, and resolutions filling social feeds. But what if that’s not how you feel? What if, instead of motivation, you’re feeling stuck, unmotivated, or even a little lost? You are not alone, and this season—just like any other—deserves to be honoured in its own way.

“Feeling unmotivated as the new year begins? You’re not alone. Learn why this heavy energy is normal and how to honour your process.”

The start of a new year is supposed to feel fresh, exciting, full of motivation and momentum. But if you’ve been struggling to find that energy—if you’ve felt low, unmotivated, disconnected, or even a little lost—I want you to know: you are not alone.

While the world shouts “New Year, New Me!” and pushes resolutions and reinvention, many of us are feeling the complete opposite—like we’re wading through fog, unable to focus, unmotivated, or even numb to the things that once brought us joy.

And I get it—because I’ve been feeling it too.

I’ve been feeling It Too

This isn’t just me speaking from a place of guidance—this is me speaking from experience. Because if I’m being completely honest… ending 2024 and stepping into 2025 has been heavy for me, too.

Christmas felt like a struggle. I didn’t have the joy, the excitement, or the warmth that this season often brings. And by the time New Year’s Eve arrived, I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate—I was in the mood to hide.

So that’s what I did. I spent New Year’s Eve (mostly) alone, at the beach beach, staring out at the water. I didn’t want to be social. I didn’t want to put on a “New Year, New Me” face. The energy of this time of year didn’t feel expansive or exciting—it felt like a vortex, pulling me inward, into introspection, solitude, and stillness.

And honestly? That energy has carried across the invisible threshold into 2025. I’m still moving slow. I still feel deep in thought. My motivation feels far away, and concentrating on anything for long periods of time has been hard.

But instead of battling against this natural ebb and flow of my energy, I am doing my best to meet it. OK, at first I battled it haha but I guess I needed to try that to remember it wouldn’t work. 

Now, I meet it:

To allow instead of resist.
To honour instead of judge.
To trust that this phase, too, has its purpose.

And if you’ve been feeling this too, I want you to know: you are not alone in this.

The collective energy feels heavy Right now

Maybe you’ve noticed:

• Your mind feels scattered, and concentrating feels impossible.

• Motivation seems just out of reach, no matter how much you want to feel inspired.

• Joy, gratitude, and excitement feel distant, like they’re happening to everyone except you.

• You’re judging yourself for not hitting the ground running in 2025 the way you thought you would.

If this resonates, take a deep breath with me right now. 💛
There is nothing wrong with you. This isn’t failure. This isn’t laziness. This is simply where you are right now.

I see You, I hear you, and you are not Alone

This time of year holds so much expectation. We are told we should be bursting with motivation, setting goals, feeling fresh and new. But what if you’re not?

What if the new year arrived, and instead of feeling inspired, you felt… stuck?
What if your body and nervous system didn’t get the memo that it’s time to go go go?
What if instead of charging forward, you’re feeling the weight of everything you didn’t process last year?

That experience is real. It’s valid. And it deserves space.

There’s a collective heaviness right now for so many people. Whether it’s exhaustion from the past year, emotional processing that didn’t get done, or just a deeper need to pause before moving forward—you are not alone in feeling this.

No fixing. no forcing. just allowing.

I’m not here to give you a pep talk. I’m not here to tell you to push through, set goals, or “just be positive.” Because honestly? That’s not what you need right now.

What you need is permission to feel exactly how you feel.

What you need is to know that there is nothing wrong with moving slowly.

What you need is to be reminded that your worth is not measured by your productivity, your motivation, or how ‘on it’ you feel right now.

Some seasons of life are about forward momentum. Others are about stillness.
Wherever you are in this moment, you are worthy of compassion, softness, and space.

so here’s my Invitation to You…

Instead of judging yourself, what if you just witnessed yourself?
Instead of forcing motivation, what if you allowed rest?
Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?” what if you asked, “What is my body, my heart, my soul trying to tell me?”

There is no deadline to feeling ready. There is no rush.
You are exactly where you need to be.
And I promise you, this moment will shift. Energy moves. Emotions process. The fog lifts.
And when it does, you will still be you—worthy, whole, and enough.

If you need more support, I’m Here

If this spoke to you, and you’re feeling called to deeper guidance, no matter what year you find this blog and read it,  I want you to know that I am here to support you with 1:1 coaching.

This is for you if you’re ready to be held in a safe, trauma-informed space where you can:

✨ Process what’s been weighing you down.
✨ Gain clarity on where you want to go next.
✨ Learn tools to navigate your emotions and inner world with more ease.

If you’d like to work together, Click Here to Book a Session or reach out to me directly.

Get ready to explore the transformative journey of understanding and cultivating secure attachment in relationships.

Excavating the commonness of insecure attachment styles and their impact on intimacy.

Today I want to emphasise the importance of self-work and vulnerability in rewiring our neural pathways for emotional security and fostering deep, fulfilling connections.

I invite you to break free from toxic patterns, reclaim your power and embark on a journey towards wholehearted relating and boundless love in 2024 and beyond.

Ladies, can I be real with you for a minute? 

As someone who’s been navigating the wild world of relationships for years, I know how easy it is to feel lost, disconnected and frustrated. 

In this digital age, finding genuine, fulfilling connections can feel like wandering through a never-ending maze. 

But listen up, because I’ve uncovered some profound insights that can revolutionise the way we approach love and intimacy in 2024 and beyond. 

And it all starts with understanding our attachment styles.

Here’s the tea – a staggering 50% of the population exhibits an insecure attachment style! 

Meaning they struggle with either anxious or avoidant tendencies. 

Translation – so many of us are trapped in those toxic cycles of codependency, constant conflict and unfulfilling unions. 

Talk about a wake-up call, right?

But guess what – a powerful paradigm shift is underway. 

More and more women are waking up to the transformative power of cultivating a secure attachment stance. 

This isn’t just some lofty theory, it’s a tangible pathway towards liberation, healing and the kind of nourishing, flourishing relationships we all crave.

Now, I’ll continue being real with you because this journey is deeply personal for me. 

I have spent the last few years meticulously excavating the depths of my own attachment style, unravelling the threads of past traumas and insecurities that held me back. 

Through dedicated study and introspection, I learned to confront the ways I used to react, manipulate and allow myself to be treated without respect in relationships. 

Let me tell you, it has been a total game-changer in my current relationship.

I used to be the queen of saying “yes” when I really wanted to say “no.” 

I’d let myself be walked all over because I just didn’t have that deep sense of self-worth. 

I’d say yes when I meant no all too often and this would lead to me having very uncomfortable and even harmful experiences.

But I wouldn’t change those experiences for anything – they shaped me into the powerful, empowered woman I am today.

From disempowered to fully empowered!!!!  FUCK YES QUEEN 👑(self high five)🙌 

Ladies, the journey towards secure attachment begins with honest self-work. 

It’s about courageously exploring our attachment history, our fears, our traumas and the coping strategies we’ve developed around intimacy. 

I know it ain’t easy, but the rewards are so worth it. 

When we’re willing to confront those shadows without judgment and embrace vulnerability as a catalyst for growth, we can rewire our neural pathways towards true emotional security.

And that’s when the magic happens. 

When we choose to surround ourselves with individuals who reflect our highest values and support our growth, that’s when the floodgates to deeper, more fulfilling connections start to open up. 

No more settling for crumbs, my friend – it’s time to reclaim our power and embrace the richness of life’s connections.

FACT: we can only do so much inner work alone. 

Being in a relationship is one of our biggest teachers, allowing us to witness ourselves in the mirror of our partners and lovers. 

It’s about deciding how we want to act, react, live, experience, give and receive and you don’t have to be in a long-term relationship to experience this – even casual dating or sleeping with people can offer these profound moments of self-discovery.

So here’s my invitation to you, sister: 

Let’s liberate ourselves from the confines of toxic relationship patterns and embrace the beauty of interdependence. 

Let’s invest in our own healing and empowerment, refusing to settle for anything less than the deep, nourishing connections we deserve. 

Together, let’s choose the journey of self-discovery and growth, opening ourselves to the intimacy, trust and fulfilment that awaits us on the other side.

Your journey begins now, love. 

If you’re ready to break free from those toxic patterns and cultivate the loving, secure bonds you crave, I’d be honoured to guide you every step of the way. 

Through personalised 1-on-1 coaching, we’ll dive deep into healing your attachment wounds, understanding your relational needs and developing the skills to attract and sustain those deeply fulfilling partnerships.

No more settling, my love. 

No more dimming your light. 

It’s time to reclaim your power and embrace the richness of life’s connections. 

Click below and let’s get started on that journey towards wholehearted relating today.

Wishing you depth, richness and boundless love in 2024 and beyond.

With love and empowerment,

Rikki

Shatter the Illusion: Discover the Liberating Truth About Aging as a Woman

We’ve been fed a relentless diet of fear and self-loathing around aging as women. The message is clear – the moment we hit 25, our prime is over, our beauty doomed to fade and our desirability destined to decline. But this cultural narrative of inevitable decay is nothing but a cruel deception, designed to rob us of the radiant power and confidence that should be our feminine birthright.

The truth is, the decades after 25 hold a transformative magic – a flourishing of beauty, sensuality and self-assuredness that puts our youth to shame. It’s time to shatter these toxic lies once and for all, and embrace the magnificence of our maturing beauty, our deepening pleasure and our unshakable feminine sovereignty.

This is your invitation to explore the liberating truth about what it means to age as a woman – a journey that could revolutionise everything you thought you knew.

In our youth-obsessed culture, the message that aging equals decline is all too pervasive.

We’re bombarded with the idea that as women, our “best” years are behind us once we hit 25 – that our beauty, desirability and vitality will only diminish from there. 

This toxic myth is quite possibly the greatest lie holding us back from fully inhabiting our authentic power, radiance and unstoppable feminine force.

But the truth is, everything actually gets better for us women after 25. 

Our beauty blossoms settling into itself, our confidence comes into full expression and we awaken to depths of sensual aliveness and pleasure that can only come through the journey of womanhood. 

Yet this insidious cultural conditioning cuts so many of us off from this birthright at a frighteningly young age.

According to a study published in the Journal of Women’s Health, over 60% of women in their 20s and 30s report feeling anxious or depressed about the aging process, (something I believe we learn from social media).

Another survey found that 75% of women feel pressure to maintain a youthful appearance, with many resorting to drastic measures like plastic surgery or extreme dieting to fight the signs of aging, (again a result of the unrealistic beauty standards being shoved down our throats online). 

But the truth is, our beauty is not purely physical – it’s an energetic radiance that only deepens as we mature. 

As one 45-year-old woman shared, “I feel more beautiful now than I ever did in my 20s. There’s a confidence here with me now that you just don’t comprehend when you’re young and a level of sensuality that comes from years of experiences and age. These are things that no amount of makeup, hair products or online trends can replicate.”

When it comes to desirability, research has shown that finding high-value partners is dictated far more by a woman’s energy and confidence than her looks or age. 

In fact, many women report experiencing a surge in romantic attention and fulfilment in their 30s, 40s and beyond, as they’ve had time to cultivate their feminine power, truly know what they want and understand who they are as women. 

And the pleasure potential? 

Well, that’s only just getting started. 

Contrary to the myth of the beauty ideal being separate from the maternal or crone archetype, all phases of womanhood carry exquisite sensual potency. 

Many women testify that their orgasms get exponentially better after their 30s, as they’ve had time to deeply explore and honour their sexuality and sensual expression.

I believe the older we get the better our sexual experiences can get.

When we stop buying into society’s fear-mongering and lean into our soul’s journey, the truth is that we become more ourselves, more embodied and more in alignment with our essence with every passing year. 

As 52-year-old Emily shared, “In my 20s, I was so consumed by insecurity and trying to live up to impossible beauty standards. Now, I feel more radiant, more connected sensually and more powerful than ever. My beauty isn’t something that fades – it’s an energy that just keeps growing.” 

If you’re ready to stop playing small

And step into the fullest embodiment of your divine feminine power, it’s time to reckon with the lies that have been holding you back. 

Embrace the truth that your beauty, desirability and pleasure potential are only just getting started no matter your age.

It’s a decision and choice you get to make.

This is your invitation to write a new feminine guidebook, one that celebrates the magnificence of the aging process. 

The greatest version of you is waiting to emerge – all you have to do is let her shine.

If you’re ready to reclaim sovereignty over your energy, beauty, pleasure and authentic expression, I would be honoured to guide you on this journey. 

As someone who majored in Female Sexuality and Women’s Empowerment during my coaching studies, this work is a deep passion of mine.

Not only from everything I have learnt from studying but also everything I have experienced and all the moments from my own journey of aging.

In our 1-on-1 coaching container, we’ll dive into the truth that your radiance has nothing to do with age and everything to do with acknowledging and unapologetically inhabiting who you are. 

You’ll unlock the depths of your sensual aliveness, reclaim the power of your feminine essence and step into the fullest embodiment of your divine self. 

These intimate coaching packages are purposefully kept limited, so if this invitation is speaking to you, I encourage you to apply. 

Together, we’ll shatter the lies that have held you back and unlock the unstoppable force of your most radiant womanhood.

Navigating Desire: Unveiling Brakes and Accelerators from Emily Nagoski’s book, ‘Come As You Are’

As part of my sex, love and relationship coaching certification I was invited to read Emily Nagowski’s book “Come As You Are’. 

This book is a must for all women to read; there were so many nuggets of profound wisdom shared within the pages that have changed the way I view my libido and body.

I want to share with you one concept, “Accelerators and Brakes.” 

This concept, as I’ll go on to explain today, really opened my eyes and had me feeling hopeful instead of frustrated about my low libido.

Exploring what Turns you on and Off

In the realm of human sexuality, understanding our desire and its ever-changing rhythm can often feel like deciphering a complex code. Emily, in her book, offers a unique perspective on this.

One of the central concepts she introduces is the interplay of brakes and accelerators, shedding light on the intricate dynamics that shape our sexual responses.

If you’re anything like me you’ve spent your sexual life either feeling turned on, grateful for the juicy energy, or turned off, frustrated and hating on your body for not being horny enough, (especially in a relationship where your partner wants more sex than you do).

From the time I was sexually active, I saw libido and desire as black and white. I was either horny (which was good) or I didn’t want to be touched at all (which was bad). I’m excited to share this with you now because it changed my black-and-white view of libido into a delicious rainbow of possibility and pleasure.

Brakes and Accelerators Defined

Nagoski presents the idea of brakes and accelerators as a metaphorical framework to explain the dual nature of sexual arousal. 

“Think of brakes as factors that inhibit or slow down our sexual response, while accelerators are elements that rev up our desire.” 

These metaphorical mechanisms work in tandem, influencing the ebb and flow of our sexual experiences.

Understanding Brakes

Context and Environment:

• Our surroundings play a pivotal role in determining the presence of brakes. Stressful environments, unresolved conflicts, or uncomfortable settings can act as significant inhibitors to desire. Recognising and addressing these external factors is essential for creating a conducive atmosphere for intimacy.

• For example: Having a messy bedroom, dirty clothes around and kids toys everywhere might activate your brakes. Coming home from a stressful day at work might activate your brakes. Remembering a fight you and your partner had last week that never reached an end point, might activate your brakes. Your partner not showering, being dirty, or smelling of BO, these are all things that might activate your brakes.

Body Image and Self-Esteem:

• Negative body image and low self-esteem act as powerful brakes. Society’s unrealistic beauty standards and personal insecurities can hinder the ability to fully embrace and enjoy one’s own body. Building a positive self-image is a crucial step toward releasing these brakes and unlocking one’s sexual potential.

• For example: Are you about to get your period and feeling super bloated and unsexy, did someone comment on your body today, have you lost or gained weight and are feeling self-conscious, do you not believe that your partner thinks you’re attractive, maybe you don’t like the way your body looks or feels, maybe you feel shy, want the lights off and no eye contact, all of this can be activating your brakes.

Past Trauma and Emotional Baggage:

• Unresolved traumas, whether from past relationships or personal experiences, can serve as substantial brakes. Acknowledging and addressing these emotional barriers is vital for creating a safe space for intimacy. If you feel professional support might be beneficial to navigate and heal from past wounds please reach out to me. I am available for 1:1 coaching.

• For example: Your ex forced you to do something in the past and when your current (loving) partner asks or tries something similar you don’t feel safe, you have old emotional wounds from childhood bullying that have never been addressed, how you lost your virginity was less than magical and this is being carried and lived out in your current intimate relationship (without you knowing), ALL OF THESE ARE BRAKES! 

“I want to remind you here that you are NOT broken if you resonated with any of these things. A lot of these examples are my own personal brakes that I discovered after learning about brakes from Emily.”

Understanding Accelerators

Novelty and Excitement:

• Novel experiences and a sense of excitement act as powerful accelerators. Trying new activities or introducing variety in the bedroom can stimulate desire. Open communication with a partner about desires and fantasies can contribute to creating a sense of novelty.

• For example: sexy lingerie, sex toys, exploring kinks, discovering your erotic blueprint (seriously Google this and take Jaiya’s Quiz, Game Changer!), adding sexy music and dancing, spending more time on foreplay, sexy conversations about fantasies, reading erotica etc.

Feeling Safe and Connected:

• Emotional intimacy and a strong sense of connection with a partner can serve as accelerators. Feeling safe and secure in a relationship fosters an environment where one can be vulnerable and explore their desires without fear of judgment or rejection.

• For example: Explain to your partner that when they do something (like spank you) it triggers an unsafe memory from your sexual past, and if they want to spank you they ask for your consent first. If you say no, they respect this, if you say yes they start lightly and ensure that during the act of spanking, they are also hugging and kissing you treating you with love and creating an environment of safety in your body. It’s all about communicating these needs before and during lovemaking so that you are feeling seen, safe and understood. BONUS: add some time after love-making for a debrief; chat about what was great, what was confronting, what you didn’t say that you wanted to etc.

Physical Well-Being:

• A healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise and proper nutrition, can act as an accelerator. Physical well-being contributes to increased energy levels, improved mood, and a positive body image – all of which are crucial components of a satisfying sexual experience.

• For example: We all know what it feels like in our bodies when we spend days in bed recovering from an injury or illness. We reenter the world fuzzy, dazed, confused, unmotivated etc. But when we start to move again, whether it be a walk outside, dancing, yoga, or swimming in the ocean, we start to create and release oxytocin (the love hormone) back into the body. The same can be said for eating nutritious foods. I’m not telling you to become a dietitian or anything but making sure you are fueling your body with fresh food and cutting back on fast food, processed foods and refined sugars plays a huge role in your body’s ability to access pleasure.

Emily Nagoski’s concept of brakes and accelerators offers a valuable framework for understanding the complexities of human desire. By recognising and addressing the factors that act as brakes, and actively incorporating accelerators into our lives, we can navigate the intricate landscape of sexuality with greater awareness, understanding and satisfaction. ‘Come As You Are’ serves as a guide, encouraging individuals to embrace their unique desires and fostering a more fulfilling connection with both themselves and their partners.

Real-life Strategies for Couples with Mismatched Libidos

Navigating a relationship where you have mismatched libidos presents its own set of challenges. However, the framework of brakes and accelerators offers valuable insights and practical strategies for couples looking to create a more harmonious intimate life despite their differences.

Open Communication

• One of the most crucial aspects of addressing mismatched libidos is open communication. Partners should feel comfortable discussing their desires, concerns, and boundaries without judgment. By sharing individual brakes and accelerators, couples can better understand each other’s needs and work towards creating an environment that caters to both partners.

• Real-Life Example: Sarah and Mark found success by establishing a regular “check-in” where they openly discussed their sexual desires, concerns, and fantasies. This practice not only improved communication but also created a sense of shared responsibility for their intimate life.

Exploration and Variety

• Introducing variety in the bedroom can act as an accelerator, reigniting the spark in the relationship. Experimenting with different activities, trying new things, and being open to exploring fantasies can create excitement and appeal to the accelerators for both partners. 

• Real-Life Example: Alex and Jamie, a couple with mismatched libidos, discovered that incorporating new experiences, such as weekend getaways or trying new hobbies together, helped reignite their connection and desire for each other. Also taking sex off the table for a certain amount of days or weeks and focusing on foreplay only, building sexual energy without the pressure of actually having sex. JUICY 😛

Understanding Eachothers Brakes

• Recognising and respecting each other’s brakes is crucial for creating a safe and comfortable space for intimacy. Partners should be aware of external factors that may stump each other’s desires and work together to move through these challenges.

• Real-Life Example: Lisa and Mike learned to navigate Mike’s stress-related brakes by implementing stress-reduction techniques, such as mindfulness exercises (like meditation and yoga) and regular relaxation rituals (like massage and walking in nature). This proactive approach helped create a more conducive environment for intimacy.

Embracing Emotional Intimacy

• Building emotional intimacy is a powerful accelerator. Fostering a deep connection based on trust and understanding can enhance the overall quality of a relationship and contribute to a more fulfilling intimate life. 
• Real-Life Example: Emily and Chris focused on strengthening their emotional connection by prioritising quality time together. Regular date nights, shared experiences, common goals and expressing gratitude helped them create a stronger bond that positively influenced their sexual connection.

Professional Support

Seeking professional help, either as a couple or individually (or both), can be a valuable resource for couples dealing with mismatched libidos. A trained professional can provide guidance, facilitate communication, and offer strategies tailored to the unique dynamics of the relationship. Again, reach out to me if you’d like to explore this more. 

Real-Life Example: Mark and Olivia sought the assistance of a sex coach to navigate their mismatched libidos. The coach helped them explore individual desires, improve communication, and develop practical strategies to meet each other’s needs.

To all the women who bleed, this is a heartfelt invitation to join me on a profound journey. 

Have you ever allowed your menstrual blood to flow into the earth, changing the color of soil as it nourishes the grass? 

This blog isn’t just a story of an ancient ritual—free bleeding on the earth—it’s a narrative interwoven with threads of self-discovery, body confidence, and genuine self-love. 

From an ancient ritual honoring the cycles of life to reclaiming lost heritage in modern living, I invite you to rediscover sacred practices, rebel against societal hush, and declare that our bodies are meant to be celebrated. 

Let us begin a collective journey to reclaim our narratives, honoring the divine connection between womanhood and the earth.

Embracing Sacred Rhythms: A Journey to Trusting Your bleed. 

To all the women who bleed, to all the vulva owners who bleed and to all who used to bleed. 

Have you ever allowed your menstrual blood to naturally flow out of you and into the earth?

Have you ever seen the colour of soil change as the deep red river of your cycle mixes with it?

Have you ever witnessed your plants and grass be nourished by your iron and mineral rich blood? 

In a world that often hurries past the sacred rhythms of femininity, I invite you to join me on a profound and deeply personal journey. 

This is not just a story of an ancient ritual – free bleeding on the earth – but a narrative interwoven with the threads of self-discovery, body confidence, and the pursuit of genuine self-love. 

This journey is dedicated to the women who, like me, have struggled with trusting and listening to their bodies and finding peace in their unique essence.

The Ancient Ritual

On the first day of my cycle, I do my best to make space in my schedule to immerse myself in the soft embrace of nature, letting the pulsing of my body intertwine with the heartbeat of Pachamama. 

The perks of working from home 😉

This ancient ritual serves as a reminder of the forgotten beauty in our ancestral practices; a connection that transcends time and whispers of wisdom buried deep within our feminine lineage.

We were never intended to experience a sense of isolation or detachment from Mother Gaia, Pachamama, our earth. However, many of us may grapple with a profound ache stemming from this disconnection. 

Directly allowing our menstrual blood to flow onto the earth, whether wearing a big dress or skirt with no underware or being completely naked, can genuinely serve as a bridge, dismantling the illusion of separation between us and her. 

In this act, our menstrual blood transforms into a crimson river of reconnection—an intimate, flowing umbilical cord that roots us back into the embrace of the earth. 

Each time I bleed onto the earth, I sense as though I am planting my own roots more profoundly into the soil, a reaffirmation of my innate right to be a daughter of nature. 

Honouring the Cycles of Life (the red tent)

Our foremothers understood the power in embracing the cycles of life, honoring the ebb and flow that courses through us. 

In the whispers of the wind and the rustle of leaves, I hear the echoes of a time when such practices were revered—a time when women found strength in the rhythms of their bodies.

The Red Tent has deep historical roots, representing a sacred space where women would gather during the new moon to collectively experience menstruation. This tradition can be traced back to various ancient cultures, including those in Mesopotamia, ancient Greece, and indigenous communities. 

The Red Tent served as a communal haven for women to share the transformative experience of menstruation, fostering a sense of sisterhood, support, and spiritual connection.

Within the Red Tent, women engaged in rituals that celebrated the cyclical nature of womanhood. These rituals often included storytelling, singing, and dancing, creating an environment where the wisdom of elder women was passed down to younger generations. The new moon, symbolizing renewal and fertility, was considered an auspicious time for women to come together and honor their menstrual cycles.

A profound Sense of Unity

Laying in the grass, letting my blood meet the earth, brings a sense of unity—a reminder that my body, much like the changing seasons, follows a natural rhythm. 

It’s a connection to the earth, a recognition that we are part of a greater whole, and a testament to the innate wisdom within our very cells.

Lost heritage in Modern Living

In the cacophony of modern living, we’ve lost touch with these sacred rituals. The pressures of society have drowned out the whispers of our ancestral wisdom, leaving us disconnected from the very essence of our being. Yet, in this moment, amidst the chaos, I reclaim a piece of our shared heritage—a heritage that holds the key to trusting our bodies and embracing self-love.

A rebellion and Declaration

This act of free bleeding is not just a physical act; it’s a rebellion against the societal hush surrounding menstruation. 

It’s a declaration that our bodies are not meant to be hidden but celebrated—a vessel of life intricately entwined with the world around us. 

It’s an act to combat the shame I felt for most of my bleeding life and the stigmas that to bleed is gross, dirty and should be hidden from others.

I extend an invitation to all women, urging you to rediscover these sacred practices, break free from the chains of silence, and honor the ancient wisdom that resides within.

Reclaiming our Narratives

In a society that often overlooks the magic of our bodies, let’s embark on a collective journey to reclaim our narratives. 

It’s time to revive the traditions that celebrate the divine connection between womanhood and the earth—a connection that holds the key to trusting our bodies and cultivating a profound sense of self-love.

Conclusion

This journey is an exploration of trust, body confidence, and self-love—a journey that transcends societal norms and embraces the innate wisdom within every woman. 

As we reclaim the sacred rhythms of femininity, may we find empowerment, healing, and a renewed sense of confidence in our bodies. Let this be a testament to the resilience and beauty inherent in each of us, a celebration of our unique essence intertwined with the ancient wisdom that echoes through time.